Listening, Hearing, Meaning

i was there, i was holding your hand and rubbing your leg, because i wish i could do something -- anything -- to make it not hurt so much. i can only imagine if you feel that way about a friend how violent and desperate you feel about me. i know you weren't there to be my friend, and i'm sorry you couldn't admit it. it's a long, sorry sentence. for you, life, for me, losing you.